You won't believe what happened to me the other day It was just past 8pm. I was standing two houses from my own, with all my neighbors looking at burnt out Palm tree. And I had to pee. I turned to take one last look at the aftermath of the fire and walked back home. See, the old palm tree had been around for as long as I could remember. What was once was a happy puffy plume of sharp palm leaves, now looked like a blackened toilet scrubber against an even darker sky.For 5 or 6 ft. along the length of the top part of the trunk, Fire had left behind it's black and ashy trail. 7 feet from the ground is where it started and 7 ft from the ground is were it was darkest. the base of the tree was untouched. Normally I go to school, go to work, and drive home with my Pop and I go strait for my PS2 and pass out on the couch, controller in my hand. But I didn't go inside right away. I didn't rush in the house when our car pulled up to it.. Let me back track a bit. 7:50pm Me and dad pull up to the side of our house. I move to the tailgate of our truck and take my shit. I was headed for the door like any other night. I sniffed the air and smelled the smoke. Didn't think much of it but it was unusual. I just looked up. I looked up and I saw my door. you don't see my door at night. It usually is way to dark. So I looked around. A strange orange glow. Now I almost didn't notice. It is San Jose and orange street lights are everywhere. But The air...it was brighter...warmer... I heard a small popping noise. and a faint rumble. I slowly walked into the street and looked into the sky. Why was it so bright? Was the moon out? It was. I saw it right there, behind the gray haze of smoke. The moon was shining down onto a thin pillar of smoke and orange embers swirling up into the sky. Fire. And it was close. I cocked my head in confusion as I walked out into the street. As I cleared a big tree, I saw fire casting a bright orange glow over my whole neighborhood. My dad stood next to me, the same head tilt was used on his shoulders to. The plam was two houses from mine. It was so pretty. Like Christmas. And right in the middle of the Palm was this cute little inferno. It was as if a monkey climbed up halfway and just exploded. It was so odd. Then I did something that surprised me. I laughed. It was funny. I closed my eyes.Two houses down and I could feel the warmth of it on my face. It was relaxing. Fire always does that to me. But I heard something that snapped me back into the real world. A man. Chucky's Dad. Chucky is a guy I know who lives down my street and his dad was on the phone yelling "Hello? 911?" I looked back at the tree. The Cute ball of fire was growing. The burning Palm was nestled between two houses. Only then did I see the danger. See, the bushes where Junipers. It's a type of pine, it's prickly if you fall into it. They make Gin out of the berries.As if you give a shit On a side note, Junipers are very flammable. Houses are two. I looked around. my dad was at our car on his cell phone. Chucky's dad was inside his garage and no one else was around. The tree burned quietly. Nobody knew. The fire was fast. 2 seconds in a daze, 2 seconds to realize the danger, and 3 to sprint to the front door of one of the threatened houses. 7 seconds. in 7 seconds I saw the cute little inferno grow into a blaze 7 ft of the ground. Burning pieces fell into the junipers and little fires broke out in them. small, cute little fires. "OPEN UP!!" I yelled as I pounded on the door. I peaked through the window. An old lady sat in a chair looking at me as if I was crazy. Two kids ran to her side. Kids. Fuck. Kids and an old lady in a house that might have a burning palm tree crashing through the roof and minute now. I saw a lady run out from the hall followed by a man with a bat. They thought I was the threat. Fuckin' dumb ass. But I did sound crazy. Open up. Get the fuck out. You're gonna die. Come out. Maybe I should calm down. Maybe I shouldn't have been so panicky. I back up to check on the blaze. I panicked some more. 15ft from me was a fucking monster.It was hotter than hell now. I was shielding my face from the heat. If I saw a big guy with horns and goat feet, I was going home. "GET OUT OF YOUR HOUSE!!!!!YOUR TREE IS ON FIRE!!" That got their attention. The woman ran for the door. The man held her back but she pulled away and opened the door. I smiled politely. Hi, I live down the street, me and the other neighbors wanted to know if you knew your palm tree was giving birth to an insane, blazing, Firaga that threatened the houses on your block. Of course I didn't really say that. I didn't really smile. What I looked and sounded like was the very first caveman to see fire. "Beejiga! Manabooga! Fire in the tree!!" I was pointing and looking at the fire. As the man ran out I saw a little girl looking at me, her brother by her side. The man saw the fire and grabbed his hair. The was making the same monkey noises as I was. I was yelling at him, he was yelling at me, we danced around the fire, trying to think of a clever way to stop it. It must have been a funny sight. We as a people have put a man on the moon. We can fly. But we still deal with a tree fire exactly the way cavemen did back in the day. All our yelling, our screaming finally got peoples attention. Everyone was out now, looking at the fire in awe, all had phones, all had called 911 or was calling at that moment. One concerned neighbor got into his car, parked it into his garage where it was save, and told us all to be quiet as he slammed his door shut behind him. The guy with the bat was spaying the tree with a garden hose but it wasn't doing any good. My dad was standing next to him. There was still one more house. Had they already been warned? I jumped across the burning property line to check. Nope. I ring the doorbell once, trying to sound calm this time. But no one answered. Great. I grabbed their garden hose without asking and sprayed the roof of the house. If we couldn't put the fire out in time, a wet house burns slower than a dry one. Then I turned that shit onto the fire. I guess that did it. The fire was dieing. I aimed high. Two people burst out of the house that I thought was empty. One was a kid a few years younger than me. "Holy Shit!" he exclaimed. That's right, son. Holy shit indeed. It was kind of sad really. It was getting darker as the fire died. And colder. The fire was out now. A few embers still glowed at the top of the tree. It smoked like a 30 ft cigar. And off in the distance, the sound of sirens. Thank god. We all could feel safe. The firemen finally arrived. To my surprise, they had come in full force. 3 fire trucks. 1 rescue truck. I was impressed. I didn't know our neighbor hood had 3 fire trucks. I counted like 25 firemen, all dressed up and nothing to do. They looked like real idiots. But whatever. I gave the two guys a nod and handed him his hose. I walked back to my dad. He was talking to the bat man. Apearantly, my dad was telling him what to do the whole time. I could see it now. "hmmm... you better get that little spot..ttthhheere. and...there,mm-hmm.See where it's burning? yeah, right there" My dad would say slowly. " ya know, this is nothing like the fires I put out in 'Nam." I looked at my watch. It was just past 8pm. I was standing two houses from my own, with all my neighbors looking at burnt out Palm tree. And I had to pee. I turned to take one last look at the aftermath of the fire and walked back home.
Cool huh? Just thought I'd tell all of you about that little thingy. I know what you're thinking. I'm usually the one STARTING the fires, What the fuck was I doing putting one out? but it is a ture story Anyhoo, email me back and tell me what you think. See you all later!! Oh, And Send this to Ryan, Brett, Lara, I don't have their emails.And anyone else that would me ammused by this. And Marilyn, sent this to Sara&Tyler,huh? Love peace and chicken grease!!! -Alex