?

Log in

No account? Create an account
 
 
08 April 2001 @ 03:40 pm
An original story that I wrote for camp  
THis is called My pet Zombie!

Prop for this: really cheap book bags or backpacks, or lunch bags (like somewhat reusable. Like shoebag type bags. Or maybe glorified paper bags.)

OK. A kid finds quarter on the ground. He gets really excited, and then he goes and buys one of thoes dispenser ball things. He(the kid) gets upset becaue it's just a piece of paper. He opens it and it says "put a hair from your head, some rotting fruit, and a dead bug in a hat, and put the hat on the ground. Then say these magical words, and you will have your own personal zombie friend." So the kid does so,a dn suddenly! The zombie climbs out of the ground wearing the hat! The kid is all excited, and names the zombie "Kevin Elliot Parker the seventh!" the zombie groans and looks contented. So now the kid has to bring the zombie to school ( he did this in the morning on the way to school.

The kid "Alex" Come to class and is introducing the zombie to his class. The zombie needs to bump into alot of stuff, and ultimatly fall over. The teacher tells Alex that his friend dosent look so good, and he should go to the nurse. The nurse looks at Kevin Elliot Parker the Seventh, but is confused because he has no reflexes or vital signs. She concludes that he is fit to go to class, because he dosent have any symptoms that she is looking for.

Back at class, The teacher is teaching music class. Every gets to sing. When they are singing in a group, the zombie sings too, and just makes a lot of loud zombie noises. After a few times of politley ignoring it, the teacher finally sugests that maybe Kevin not sing and just keep the beat with his feet. Oh no! here's trouble!!!! Kevin starts to keep the beat with his feet, but he's so uncoordinated that he falls and knocks everyone over. Everyone yells at him, and he gets sad and leaves. Now they have to find him. The kids do a quick search over the school. They think he is in the blah blah bolh(uh maybe they don't, I don't know what happens. Use your imagination)

Uh playing PE. It's baseball, and Kavin gets hit. They are all concerned, and so they take him to the nurse again. The nurse inspects him again, and this time she comes back with a big book and a complicated doctor examining thing. Um, she says lots of big words from the text book, and that makes it funny. Um she does all these rediculous test, like pat your head and rub your tummy kind of things. She still cant figure out what's wrong with him, and then he gets to go back to class. Now it's time for Lunch.

At lunch Kevin expresses an interest in eating, but there's noting in Alex's lunch that interests him. So he starts to eat out of the garbage. Alex tries to get him to not do that, but he dosent stop. Soon the yard duty comes and tells him that he should start. He's all confused and stuff. The yard duty tells him that he should go back to the school nurse, and this time the kids all come. Now the nurse has another idea, she believes that Kevin is a warewolf, and she tries to point out the differecees between normal c=kids and a warewolfs. But it dosnet work, because the kids can all see that kevin is not a warewolf. So she releases him, but she's certain that she's gonna figure it out.

Uh� story needs more conflict. I think in the final version, the nurse will be antagonistic and trying to expose Kevin as not a real student.

Ok�hrm� so now they have art class. In this class There is a really good (realitivly) artist who makes fun of Alex, and alex feels really bad. So Kevin decides to help Kevin and draws a really good picture. And everyone is amazed and thinks he's really cool. The bully is outcast. But!!!!!! The nurse busts in and this time she is sure that she knows that Kevin is a zombie, and acording to school rules cant attend. Alex and the other kids try to stall the nurse, and they do but then she gets past them, and then right before she is going to expose him, kevin shows her a beautiful portriate that he has just made of her. She is so flattered, that she decides that she's gonna be nice and let kevin stay in school.


The end!


 
 
Current Mood: productiveproductive
Current Music: - Wyclef Jean featuring Stan, Kyle, Cartman, Kenny / Bubblegoose
 
 
 
Jesus Northbahia on April 8th, 2001 04:37 pm (UTC)
there is no response i can give to this...
MegaMan: danmegaman on April 8th, 2001 06:05 pm (UTC)
awww. I thought it was cute.
I like it better than "the pirates and the dancers" story I also wrote.
Jesus Northbahia on April 8th, 2001 06:37 pm (UTC)
i liked it. it was fun ;)

just really... weird and hard to respond to. but not in a bad way.
Helenhelen on April 8th, 2001 07:07 pm (UTC)
neat! my suggestions:

-slightly less weird. the kids will be put off. (for confirmation of this, ask me about the Tupou story)

-build up more sympathy for the zombie.

-more pathos.
Jack Shadowsjiffyclub on April 8th, 2001 08:00 pm (UTC)
Hmmmm
Huh, a not slobbering, bloody, missing limbs, eat your corpse sort of zombie. That's interesting. That seems to be a rather ideal bunch of elementary school children. I'm not sure I remember my elementary school peers so well. Oh well, zombies are good.