November 6th, 2005

Mega Man Party!

Some thoughts


Some thoughts, originally uploaded by zerobatsu.

So, i'm sitting here waiting for the show to start, and thinking about how I'm not really enjoying doing this play. I haven't met any really awesome people or anything, and that's the whole point of doing this - to try and branch out socially. Of course, of the people that I have met, I haven't put effort into keepingg in contqct with. I think I am just lazy and want shit to fall in my lap. Yeah... That's basocally it. I am also kind of stressed out about leaving my parents house... I mean it's really nice there. And I feel like if I had spent more time looking we could have found a better place. But at the same time, what is really wrong with the place in santa clara? I think the only thing is my unfounded fear of ghettos. I don't know what caused it. I think it's a combination of tv and movies along with the rumors of EPA and this horrible spector of gangs that was all the rage in junior high. But at the same time, I don't know. I need to keep moving on. Maybe I do need to just go to grad school. I am still thinking about going to austin, but I don't know why or what I would do there. I need to keep fightig my fears of driving and getting lost in a ghetto or something. Hrm...



This is a picture of a ceremic bear that I saw at walmart.



I think a lot of my guilt about leaving my parents house comes from just feeling like i've been crappy to my family. Like I never say happy birthday or anything like that and I am just all around shitty. And I keep borrowing brittany's stuff and breaking it. I figure that I can at least offer my mom companionship, because I know she is super bored.

This is a depressing post. But I guess depressing can be good, because it's basically the strongest emotoion I feel anymore. The rest of the time I'm just blah.

the end.