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24 May 2002 @ 01:11 pm
hrm... must write a play in japanese.... desu.
Jeromecharlatan on May 24th, 2002 01:56 pm (UTC)
Translate this one I wrote for my Japanese class:

Characters: Alex Trebek-Andrew, Sean Connery-Jerome, Arnold Schwarzenegger-Misha, Harry Potter-Russell

Alex: Hello and welcome to Celebrity Jeopardy. Here are the contestants. Sean Connery.
Sean: It’s great to be here. But, I much prefer your mother’s house.
Alex: Cho’to. Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Arnold: Thank you, Alex. Don’t eat donuts, they’re bad for you.
Alex: Uhhh, thank you. And Harry Potter.
Harry: I can do magic.
Alex: I’m sure you can. The categories are: Food, States, Books, Stores, Sports, Music, and My Mother?
Sean: Hahaha. Your mother. Hahaha.
Alex: Idiot. The category: Clothes. Arnold Schwarzenegger, pick a category.
Arnold: I’ll choose food. Eat lots of vegetables.
Alex: For how much?
Arnold: 400 yen.
Alex: This food is white and yellow, and is often eaten for breakfast. Harry Potter.
Harry: What is a tomato?
Alex: No. Sean Connery.
Sean: Who is a tomato?
Alex: No! Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Arnold: Where is a tomato?
Alex: No, no, no! It’s not a tomato! It’s an egg! You idiots! Harry Potter, pick a category.
Harry: I can do magic.
Sean: No, you’re an idiot.
Alex: Thank you Sean, pick a category please.
Sean: I like exercising with your mother. So, I’ll take Sports for 500 yen, please.
Alex: For this sport, you put ski-shoes on and go down a mountain. Sean.
Sean: Your mother!
Arnold: Shut up!
Sean: I would never watch one of your movies!
Arnold: Really? Well, you’re too old!
Harry: I can do magic.
Sean, Arnold, Alex: Shut up!
Harry: I can do magic. Please watch. Arnold Schwarzenegger, I’ve got your nose.
Arnold: Ahhh, my nose!
Harry: And now your nose is returned.
Arnold: Bravo!
Harry: Sean Connery, how many apples do I have under my sweater?
Sean: Two apples.
Harry: Wrong! None!
Sean: Bravo!
Alex: Ok, this is stupid. This show is over.

Because I wrote it, the rest of my group did the translation.
Jeromecharlatan on May 24th, 2002 01:58 pm (UTC)
Oh yeah, and the staging was very elaborate. I also improvised the "fuku" = fuck you bit into the skit.
Jeromecharlatan on May 24th, 2002 02:00 pm (UTC)
Or this one:

The Infomercial (Gugenheimerschmidt-san, Dirk Diggler-san, Mister Bo-Jangles-san, Coco Cabaña-san)

Dirk: Hello, and welcome to “Happy Super Cool Fantastic Extreme Inventions!” (Encourage applause) I’m your host Dirk Diggler-san here with my partner Mister Bo-Jangles-san.
Bo-J: Yes, welcome. This is going to be a fun hour, right? (implied)
Dirk: Absolutely! Who do we have with us today, Mister Bo-Jangles-san?
Bo-J: It’s our good friends from “A Land Called Hon alee,” Gugenheimerschmidt-san and Coco Cabana-san.
Dirk: Welcome to the show, gentlemen!
Gug: Hello! It’s an honor.
Coco: Yes, it’s a pleasure to be here, Dirk Diggler-san and Mister Bo-Jangles-san. (Excessive, exaggerated bowing from everyone)
Bo-J: What “Happy Super Coop Fantastic Extreme Invention” did you bring today?
Gug: It’s called, “Zuto Zuto Zuto Awesome Power!” (Slides it across table to Coco, both hosts “oooh!” in amazement) Coco cabana-san?
Coco: Thank you, Gugenheimerschmidt-san. “Zuto Zuto Zuto Awesome Power!” will make you number one in everything. Please watch. (Hands Dirk basketball)
Dirk Diggler-san, play basketball now.
Dirk: Uhhh, ok. (Dribbles ball clumsily and lazily)
Coco: Now watch. (Applies ZZZAP! to Dirk’s hands)
Dirk: Wow! (Starts dribbling around like a pro) I am number one in basketball!
Bo-J: Amazing! What else can “Zuto Zuto Zuto Awesome Power!” do, Gugenheimerschmidt-san?
Gug: Mister Bo-Jangles-san, you like listening to music, right? (implied)
Bo-J: Yes, you are right.
Gug: (Pulls out earphones) Listen to this country music!
Bo-J: (Puts on earphones) Oh, I don’t like that one bit. (Yanks off earphones)
Gug: Coco Cabana-san? (Coco throws ZZZAP! to Gug) Now watch. (Applies ZZZAP! to Bo-J’s ears)
Bo-J: Dosey-do-desu! (Square dances with all 3 others) Yee-haw-desu! I am number one at listening to country music!
Coco: Ohhh, we aren’t done yet.
Dirk: I want to see.
Bo-J: Me too, I’m excited!
Gug: Dirk Diggler-san and Mister Bo-Jangles-san, please each choose a girl from the audience. (They each choose someone, *extra points for sensei ;)* )
Coco: Girls, please stand up. (They gather to the center of the room)
Gug: Dirk Diggler-san and Mister Bo-Jangles-san, please talk to the girls.
Dirk: No, I’m scared.
Bo-J: I’m scared too. She has “cooties.”
Coco: (Both Gug and Coco sigh heavily) Gugenheimerschmidt-san? (Gug tosses ZZZAP! to Coco; Coco approaches Dirk and Bo-J and applies ZZZAP! to their chests; both Dirk and Bo-J look at each other with smug grins, nod at each other, and approach their respective females of choice)
Bo-J: Let’s eat dinner tonight. Your place or mine?
Dirk: (Puts arm around girl’s shoulders) I like you. Give me your phone number. (Both ladies oblige; guys give each other high five and return)
Bo-J: Dirk Diggler-san and I are number one at talking to girls!
Gug: Amazing, isn’t it?
Dirk: Yes, it’s excellent. But how much is “Zuto Zuto Zuto Awesome Power?” (Gug approaches blackboard).
Coco: Good question. Only 20,000 yen. (Everyone boos)
Dirk: I don’t think they like that. (Gug erases 20,000 from board)
Coco: 2 payments of 10,000 yen! (applause)
Dirk: Good, then 2 payments of 10,000 yen it is.
Bo-J: Thank you for joining us Gugenheimerschmidt-san and Coco Cabana-san, and thank you for joining us on “Happy Super Cool Fantastic Extreme Inventions!” (Dirk applies ZZZAP! to privates with back to class, runs out of room screaming).
Jeromecharlatan on May 24th, 2002 02:04 pm (UTC)
We changed it so instead of asking for a phone number, it changed to "sex wo shimasuka?"
Jeromecharlatan on May 24th, 2002 02:06 pm (UTC)
Oh yeah, and the reason some of the dialogue sounds all fucked up is because I wrote in with the translation in mind.
Siner Dsirnerd on May 24th, 2002 02:13 pm (UTC)