MegaMan (megaman) wrote,

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AP! American Pride!

If I had to flee America, most likely due to my Mafia connections, I would go to my second favorite country: Japan. For some reason, I have always felt an inexplicable draw to Japan, and Japanese culture. The feeling feeling of admiration for Japan is in stark contrast to the unclean, dark and abysmal feeling I get when I think about Europe.
Japan is a wondrous place for me. I enjoy hearing the language, immersing myself in the culture both popular and traditional, and wading through the sea of people as I walk down the streets of one of the world's largest megalopolis. This admiration for Japan dosen't mean that living there isn't without its bad points. There are three things that I personally hate about Japan. The first things that I hate are the toilets, which are a lot like urinals in the ground. I don't understand why they don't just get western toilets. The second problem is the fact that you have to take your shoes on and off constantly, a feat that is difficult to perform with my shoes and feet. The third problem is that Japan gets very cold all over the country and I hate the cold. That's my personal opinion, however I believe it says a lot for a country when the only complaints about it are minor ones.
Japan is one of the few countries where a very large distinction existes between indigionous people, and foreigners. Foreigners living in Japan have added bonuses, and added disadvantages. For example, a foreigner who comes to Japan after college can find high paying corporate jobs relatively easily, and if they can't find a job with a big company, they can always teach English. In Japanese mentality all foreigners speak English, so even if you are from Pakistan, you can get a job teaching English. Foreigners in Japan also have the ability to commit many horrendous social errors and receive little or no reprimands, especially if they don't speak Japanese. Sadly, The same mentality that awards these benefits to foreigners also reaps from them a terrible terrible toll. Out of all the stories of foreigners living in Japan that exists, one of the more common themes is the observation that Japanese don't form close friendships with foreigners as easily as they do with other Japanese. This phenomenon has grown less pronounced recently, but it still exists. It is like a horrible crippling plague upon the souls of the foreigners, forever condemning them to the purgatory that is outcastville.
However, I am immune to such wiles. I will have little trouble acclimating into Japanese society. I plan on inventing a personal flying machine to be worn under the clothes. With the aforementioned flying machine I would be able to fly around Japan and earn the Japanese people's trust, just like the characters in their popular media. The money earned from the televised serial of my amazing exploits would alloy me to move out of my dorm-room-sized apartment, and into a large floating orb, similar in appearance to the death star. From my floating palace, I would amass an army of loyal subjects and assume manufacturing dominance over the current rulers of Japan, and the rest of the world.

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