Exploring the history and relationship between the cat and the earth.
today cats exist all over the world. from the hottest places to the coldest, anywhere you find life you can find cats.
but this present situation has not always been so.
Millions of years ago, cats looked slightly different.
like many other animals of the time, cats were much larger in size than their present day counterparts. (show picturs of dinosaurs.)
Cats were born from eggs, and traveled in heards, just like modern day elephants.
Additionally, the cats of yester-year often compeated in fierce competitions vying for superiority and mating rights.
These competitions had very strict rules and a strong element of formality, somewhat similar to today's sumo.
Jumping ahead, we find that despite millions of years of divergent evolution, the similarity between todays cat's and cats of anchient times can still be seen.
(show picture of dinosaur and cat looking similar.)
in another strange twist of fate, despite the various
history of cats
different varieties of today's cats (house cat, alley cat, jungle cat, and civilized cat underwater cat)
current problems facing today's cats:
house cat: drug addiction, lack of exercise,
alley cat: over population, prostitution, street gangs
jungle cat: destruction of habitat, cultural imperialism (wanting to become house cats)
Cilivied cat: decline in purchasing power, international competition and overseas slave labor. also, difficulty in buying monacoles to signify "cultureality"
underwater cats: difficulty breathing underwater. increased mercury in fish. （eating a rectal thermamater)
Things you can do to help:
house cats: buy them excersise equipment, and take them to the gym. once they respect their bodies they will be less likely to use drugs.
alley cats: open up comunity centers so that they can play basket ball. this will keep them off the streets. also, opening up free spay and neutering clinics will curb prostitution from females, as well as decrease the hostility from the testosterone.
Jungle cats: much of their rainforest habitat is being destroyed by companies using the space for rasing cattle. from now on, instead of buying the hamburgers and eating them, send them to cats in the area that was destroyed. this is acomplished by simply putting the hamburger in the mailbox. a team of high-profile secret agents will analyse the molecular composition of the beef and determine its point of origin. in this way, you can give back to the poor jungle cats.
By supporting the jungle cats with food, you give them more time to pursue protection of their various indiginous arts and cultures.
Civilized cats: Write to your local politicion, and encourage them to lift trade restrictions against nations such as catlandia, located along the border of germany and spain. additionally, you can sabatoge companies produciong low quality monocules to encourage the original high brand companys to produce it, thus increasing their value.
because the fish that they make their food supply is being filled with mercury, instead of throwing thermometres into the ocean, throw cat food. that way the cats of the sea will be able to eat nutritious high protien, low ash and msg. (and mercury)
additionally, because of the difficulty of breating underwater, throw bottles of air into the ocean. that way, the cats will be able to breath.
WHAT THE FUTURE HOLDS:
In the future, cats will continue to evolve. current research suggests that the slowly evolving race of ROBOT cat will soon branch out into their own society with their own strenghts and weakeness.
It is important that this newly emerging culture is nurtured in a positive manner, and even invited into the CAT-UN. This will probably help prevent friction in the future (termanator 4, and show a picture of cat-aibo)