There is a boy. And his parents are killed by pirates, and he has to grow up with abusive foster parents. To block out the tyranny of his foster parents, he played hella video games. But he had an unexpected reaction on his 16th birthday. The video games warp his mind, and he feels like he needs to Save the world. He runs away from home because of the badness, so he lives for a couple of years on the street as a Vagrant, like Ryu from Street Fighter (he calls himself the Japanese Cowboy. At first he tries to be a hero by Street fighting the Australian Mafia. Over the next 4 years he rises to the top of the local street fighters. At age 20 he is beaten, and loses faith in his fighting, and his mission. He realizes that he can make money being a gigolo, but on his first night He falls in love and it turns out that the girl is a pirate, from the Urban Pirates who killed his parents. The boy is torn between his love between his love for the girl and his need for revenge. (insert West Side Story segment of streetfight between his streetgang and her pirate gang. She dies.) He must go on in his life.
Starts out with the fifi song. and then the guy goes away from the Stage and He’s in the car.
In the car he Finds out that there is someone in the backseat. And it’s the ghost of Fifi. And then there is a phantom of the opera style thing of the two of them singing. And they get out of the car and go to the Underwear store. Because he saw a sad Kitten, and wants the kitten to have Cool Underwear so it will cheer up. (there is a current really popular Cartoon character on tv that all the cats like, and that is what the underwear is that he’s trying to buy.)
But they don’t have enough underwear, It was stolen. And he decides that the ghost of Fifi wants him to make the kitten happy to make up for Fifi’s sacrifice. (Because Fifi was the re-incarnated Spirit of his girlfriend, or so he believes.)
All the underwear was stolen by the Urban Pirates and it’s all in an island in the gulf of Hawaii.
He goes to Learn how to get to the gulf of Hawaii,
He learns how to surf, and also how to fight Russian Wrestling style, and then other cool stuff.
He gets to the beach, but he is abducted by pirates, and forced to go to Australia and feed the Pandas. He meets some Spanish High school teacher and they talk about how they should free the pandas, and during the freeing, they catch on fire, and the main character has to run away. Before that the teacher guy gives him a mushroom.
He uses the last of his money to buy a Train ticket back to his home in California from Australia.
At the end the kitten has died of sadness, and the main character dies of sadness, and apoligised for bleeding on his dead girlfriend’s sweater.
He’s in the afterlife, and he looks for Fifi, and discoveres that Fifi’s not his girlfriend, and that the kitten was actually a robot.
Then he finds out that his girlfriend isn’t in the afterlife.
But Suddenly he is reborn because he had a 1 up (which was the mushroom).
And then flys away with his jetpack. Because when he was dead he didn’t see her, so he knows that she’s still alive.