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06 November 2005 @ 02:27 pm
Some thoughts  

Some thoughts, originally uploaded by zerobatsu.

So, i'm sitting here waiting for the show to start, and thinking about how I'm not really enjoying doing this play. I haven't met any really awesome people or anything, and that's the whole point of doing this - to try and branch out socially. Of course, of the people that I have met, I haven't put effort into keepingg in contqct with. I think I am just lazy and want shit to fall in my lap. Yeah... That's basocally it. I am also kind of stressed out about leaving my parents house... I mean it's really nice there. And I feel like if I had spent more time looking we could have found a better place. But at the same time, what is really wrong with the place in santa clara? I think the only thing is my unfounded fear of ghettos. I don't know what caused it. I think it's a combination of tv and movies along with the rumors of EPA and this horrible spector of gangs that was all the rage in junior high. But at the same time, I don't know. I need to keep moving on. Maybe I do need to just go to grad school. I am still thinking about going to austin, but I don't know why or what I would do there. I need to keep fightig my fears of driving and getting lost in a ghetto or something. Hrm...

This is a picture of a ceremic bear that I saw at walmart.

I think a lot of my guilt about leaving my parents house comes from just feeling like i've been crappy to my family. Like I never say happy birthday or anything like that and I am just all around shitty. And I keep borrowing brittany's stuff and breaking it. I figure that I can at least offer my mom companionship, because I know she is super bored.

This is a depressing post. But I guess depressing can be good, because it's basically the strongest emotoion I feel anymore. The rest of the time I'm just blah.

the end.

Xbalrog on November 7th, 2005 05:25 am (UTC)
Cheer up, sucka!