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09 July 2008 @ 09:03 am
need more effort  
Hello. I am working.
I had my coffee, so I am happy. I wish I could do coke all day long.
So.... I think I'm too lazy. I feel like I am totally missing the web 2.0 bandwagon. I'm like one of thoes old people who only uses email. look at me, I only post on livejournal, and who even uses livejournal now a days? Fortunantly I lazy towned it up so that it posts my LJ on facebook, but I don't interact with anyone on facebook so no one even reads these posts. I mean, nathan dosen't even read my livejournal. Of course, I don't read his myspace page.... hrm....
Anyways, Bobby and I have been working on Choji Moji, and Mike has been working on PACT, and so i don't see him anymore. Nathan works at whole foods and sometimes that is fun, but mostly it's hard and people is stupid. John wants to move closer to the area (which he's been saying for the past 9 months...) and he is good at drawing anime robots. My sister is in town and so I left my PS3 at my parent's house and bought Rockband and two guitars. so that's cool. I should go visit her tonight. I hear she is having some party.
I am going to tokyo on business next week. I feel like I should brush up on my japanese, but I guess that's one more thing I should be doing that I'm not. Kinda like how I set my alarm for 5:05 this morning and somehow pushed the snooze button till 7:30. I should really just set it for 8:00am if I'm going to go to bed at midnight.....
OH, also bobby is giving me guitar lessons on monday, and it's actually working well. like.... I've never had anything resembling a lesson on anything since piano in 5th grade (which I have retained to some degree.) I am liking the guitar alittle more, but I still think it is not as cool as my funky bluegrass insturments. god the fretboard on the mandolin is small.
My physical Therapy is going ok I guess. I don't really do my exercises enough. the main thing is I suck at walking. my next appointment is on thursday in the middle of the day, and then I have to go away on business for a week.
I "decorated" my cube this weekend. by that I mean I went to target and bought bed sheets at 9 pm and then spent the next 3 hours in the office (yes at 11:30pm on saturday the weekend of the 4th) pinning the sheets up to the walls. then I came back in for 3 hours on sunday to tidy up.
I'm not a huge fan, but it's def better than the boring ass way it was. I put my cheap banjo in there because it looks cool, even though it sounds lame.
I need to bring in a photo printer and print out some real photos. Or maybe get some Zazzled up. but yeah. I guess the thing is everyone else on my floor is so lame that I look all creative in comparison.
I am constantly worried that I don't work enough.
I just realized I have a 1:1 with my boss today. I don't really like them, because I always have to do these awful "status report" type things and I never do them in time and they are awful because my status is always "here is 10 things I'm supposed to be giving my full attention. I am working on none of these things because there's some emergency due to legacy setup issues... blap.
So..... yeah. I feel like i need to start going to the gym again. I can do the bike, but I can't do anything else. Why is my knee so fucked up? I'm like a fucking handicapped person. fuck shit.
So, I also have been too lazy to get chojimoji.com working again. eventhough i bought server space.... and now that we're working on it it's kinda annoying to not have all the archival stuff availible. Like song lyrics etc...
Speaking of which, there is lots of mp3.com type places where you can sell your music. I really want to get them all set up so we are super exploiting the internet and at least gettting some stuff spread around.
I think Mike M. needs to update his journal, although I can understand why he stopped given the investigation.
Sometimes I think about Mr. Litfin - especially lately and it's kinda sad that he's gone because he did have his positive points. Am i a total jerk for not visiting him in the hospital? I don't know. I think I've just become 99% insensitive to everything. I do feel like I'm not living my life, and I think alot of it is because I don't have anything or anyone that I'm truly living for. like 100% this is my purpose. I think the projects that I'm working on now are great, but I just don't feel like I have any emotions so I don't feel that deep warmth in my chest kind of thing.
I do want to live in a different house.
Oh, there is a cute family of semi feral cats in at my apartment. I feel like I should take the 30 minutes of effort to buy them some cat food and especialy just put some water out for them since it's so hot.
Well that's it for now.
Current Location: santa clara
Current Mood: workingworking
Current Music: TWiT 150: Hello Laporte and the TWiTs-this WEEK in TECH - AAC Edition
Caitlinyinface on July 12th, 2008 07:49 am (UTC)
i don't think that makes you a jerk at all. feelings are complicated. God loves you anyway.
I'm sorry you're handicapped. that must suckQ!
yeah feed the cats. that is one way to feel tingly in the middle. for you. you like cats especially feral ones they are somehow by far the cutest.

can i come over and play with the rock band equipment?
make your friend come hang out with you when you're in Japan.
(Anonymous) on August 3rd, 2008 11:51 pm (UTC)
Just wanted to say
It's amazing
WaterPillowwaterpillow on September 9th, 2008 12:09 am (UTC)
I live in my own world.
You know I feel more at home at the academy then I do at home? I actually call Bancroft Hall "home". I don't like that idea, but its the reality of my life. I don't think that I will ever live at home for more then maybe a week for the rest of my life. So, as a result, I feel like this is all I have here, and I forget about home sometimes. I live in my own world here and forget that there you are, living in your own world over there. But you know what, its not that different. I just do school work every day. I walk around and go to class. I sit at my computer after lunch and waste time that I don't have to waste. I read livejournal instead of doing my labs, and then I stay up really late thursday night doing a whole project. My room mates feel sorry for me, but its usually my fault. Once the weekend comes, I hang out with the same people, do the samething, and finish the weekend really tired and not at all ready for monday morning. A lot of the time I'm indifferent about things and have no emotion about what I am doing it because I just have to do it and its usually stupid and I could get in trouble for wearing the wrong shirt outside. I hate the shirts we have to wear because they are too short and we have to tuck them in. Everyone just ends up wearing their pants really high and it looks rediculous. I exercise everyday because I have to. I'm handicapped because I can't admit when I'm hurt and tired so I just sloth around because I can't move anymore.
I guess I have things to look forward too, like deciding what I am going to do for the next twenty years of my life by friday....sigh....
All you have to do is take the little things in, like walking on the grass bearfoot and eating good meals. Some times it takes a little extra work though to get a big benifit. Its usually worth it though!

Lots of Love,
(Anonymous) on September 24th, 2008 09:39 pm (UTC)
well done
thats for sure, man
(Anonymous) on September 28th, 2008 06:59 pm (UTC)
well done
favorited this one, dude